Mediation has emerged over the last decade or so as an impressive alternative for couples to resolve their disputes through a negotiated settlement. It is generally a speedier, more cost effective process where an environment of cooperation and fairness is more likely to occur than in a stress fueled courtroom.
I have found this to be true in my practice as well. In mediation, a divorcing couple will make their own decisions about the issues surrounding the separation of the couple. In this process, both spouses voluntarily come together to meet to work with a neutral mediator to find solutions to the issues of divorce, property and financial matters, parenting and custody, support and the myriad of other issues that are particular to your life. Mediation can work for couples who are amicable, as well as those who find it difficult to communicate with each other.
As a mediator, my role, among other things, is to diffuse the negative feelings and help each of you present your needs and concerns. All that is required is a willingness to look for a fair and equitable resolution to settled disputed issues. Mediation is focused on the future, a process that acknowledges the past and helps parties move forward by resolving disputes rather than getting held back by past events. In mediation, couples become problem-solvers; they explore their options, cooperate in talking through and testing our proposals and seek out final terms that mutually benefit them given their respective priorities. As your mediator my job is to find, when possible, a "win-win" solution most likely to strengthen your ability to cooperate in the future. This is particularly important when children are involved; studies have shown that children fare much better when couples are divorcing when both parties are working together to dissolve a marriage.
In mediation, spouses are free to explore various trade-offs and options relative to financial matters and to develop parenting arragements that fit your family's needs and goals. Frequently, mediated agreements are crafted more creatively and give both parties more -- in different ways -- than each would get under the cold judgment of a court.
A mediator is a neutral party, not an advocate or lawyer for either the Wife or Husband. My role as your mediator will be to explain and educate during the process, discuss options, identify tasks that you will need to complete and help select and resolve issues until all terms of a potential agreement are worked out.
Mediation is cost-efficient and process-efficient: In adversarial cases, every hour of lawyer negotiation costs two hours' time (one for each client); then, after each attorney charges for talking to the other side, he/she also naturally charges to report the other side's comments back to his own client. In mediation, one professional hour (not two) is billed for every hour of negotiation. Lawyer negotiation oftentimes doubles or triples the amount of billable time otherwise needed for face-to-face discussion in mediation. Retaining the services of an "advisory" attorney is also beneficial (whether during and/or after mediation and before the final agreement is signed), but your attorney's role is significantly reduced in these situations.
Not every case is appropriate for mediation, and there will always be a place for adversarial litigation, but you owe it to yourselves and your children to find out more about how this alternative approach can work for you. Feel free to call me for a consultation.
